Question:
Why aren’t women content with being happy in their relationships? It seems like they create problems for no reason.
Response:
I just love sweeping questions!
First, not ALL women are like this. But I will answer for the men who find themselves in this situation.
This is NOT an easy question to answer. And for as much as I would like to give you a “one size fits all” answer…. that’s impossible, but I will list the most common and hopefully one of them will fit your situation.
Again, for the sake of this response, let’s assume that for the most part, your relationship is very strong, you both love each other and everything is going great with no major problems. Then out of the blue, for no apparent reason, there’s a problem. Why is this?
And the TOP 5 answers are?
1. Doubts.
2. Insecurity.
3. Guilt.
4. Age, maturity and experience.
5. A test.
1. Doubts:
When it comes to communication within a relationship, as long as everything is going great, you can talk about anything. However, when it comes to discussing ones innermost feelings, it can be like pulling teeth! So, while you may think everything is fine and everyone is happy…. just because you know you’re happy with your relationship and SHE says she is, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s true. Sometimes women create non-existent problems as a distraction because it’s too difficult to discuss the real problem. She may have concerns or doubts but she has no idea how to communicate them to you.
2. Insecurity:
Not so much within their relationship, but more within themselves. Women create non-existent problems to make them feel more secure with themselves. Because when the problems are solved – whether they existed or not – they are reassured that having you by their side was a good decision.
3. Guilt:
When I use the word “Guilt”, what I mean by that is that some women feel that they don’t deserve to be happy. It’s like they think to themselves, “What have I done to deserve such a great guy in my life?”
So, they create non-existent problems in order to provoke a negative reaction from you because they feel that’s what they deserve. They don’t do this all the time. Only when they have these feelings of guilt.
4. Age and experience:
Just what it is, it could all boil down to the fact that they are young and inexperienced with relationships. They create non-existent problems because they just don’t know any better.
5. Test:
Some women create non-existent problems to test you. To see where your limits are. Your boundaries. To see how you will react to a given situation.
The bottom line is that this is YOUR perception of what is going on in your relationship. The problem is either non-existent – or – it actually does exist and she has no idea how to tell you what she’s really feeling.
For the men who are reading this, you have 3 choices.
First, you can recognize that this – for the time being – is just the way she is. You can do the best you can to figure out a way to really talk to each other and solve this, or make the choice to accept it and live with it.
Second – If you feel that this has gone to the point where it is damaging or jeopardizing your relationship then she needs to know this. This may not be an easy discussion to have with the woman you love but better to have it now and get past this, than have it go too far and you find yourself to the point to where you get so frustrated with it all that you just end the relationship in anger.
Third – End the relationship. Life is just too short.
So, the answer? Talk about it… then either live with it, fix it, or end it.
Now, for the women reading this.
Ladies…. if you find yourself creating these non-existent problems within your relationship, for whatever reasons, know this. Consciously or subconsciously, you are sabotaging your relationship! And you run the risk of losing this man you love if you continue. It’s a dangerous game you’re playing and you need to stop. If not, then be willing to accept the consequences.
If you have a genuine concern or feel that there actually IS a problem, guess what – WE are not mind readers and we’re usually HORRIBLE hint takers!
TALK TO US!
If you’re with a man who truly loves you and does the best he can to be the man you want in your life and you’re happy, then celebrate that! Believe me, there are MANY women on this planet wishing they were as fortunate as you.
As I said in one of my earlier posts.
If you’re with a man who you know is the best thing that ever happened to you, don’t take that for granted….. or he’ll end up being the best thing that ever happened to someone else.
