Question:
Why do women have a hard time accepting apologies? Even though I said I was sorry for something I did wrong, she keeps arguing about it.
Answer:
This is probably one of the biggest mistakes men and women make when dealing with a problem in a relationship. I call it –
Levels of Remorse.
I’ve always found this topic interesting. One which I’m not sure you are aware of. Definitely something to think about because if you are this way? Stop being this way!
Here’s the scenario.
Someone does something to you that either hurts your feelings, or makes you angry with them. They know what they did was wrong and they are genuinely sorry for their actions.
Intentionally or not, they are truly sorry for what they have done and they show remorse.
Now, let’s put the remorse scale at
1= Little or no remorse to 10= VERY remorseful.
The first time they apologize to you and tell you how sorry they are, they are at a 10 on the remorse scale. If you’re smart, you’ll leave it at that, accept their apology, and let it go. They are not going to be any more sorry for what they’ve done than they are at the time of their apology.
Now, if you choose not to let it go, the longer you keep the argument going after the first apology was given, that person’s remorse goes down, and down… and down. Let it go on for too long, and he or she will lose all remorse and actually get angry with you!
Now YOU’RE the one apologizing.
When someone apologizes for something they’ve done to you that they know was a mistake which they are genuinely sorry for and do their best to make amends, accept their apology and be done with it.
If you choose not to, that’s up to you but by doing so – you’ll just be creating a new problem that YOU will be apologizing for. Vicious circle. Who wants that…..
