Question:
Why do men cheat when they have everything at home?
Response:
Ahhhh… the age old question! Books have been devoted to this one question. Why men cheat. While I have no desire to write a book on the topic – and feel no need to – I believe I can answer the question here.
First, we have to define the term.
Cheating. What exactly is cheating? To some women, flirting with another woman is cheating. To others, just looking, or staring at another woman too long is cheating.
So, let’s define the term, shall we?
Cheating is an act of deception. Pure and simple. When a man cheats on his wife or girlfriend, he is making a conscious decision to become involved physically – romantically – emotionally and/or sexually with another woman without the knowledge or consent of his wife or girlfriend. The key words here are “Without the knowledge or consent of his wife or girlfriend.”
Now that we have defined the term, we can answer the question.
Why do men cheat?
But, there was a clarifier (I know it’s not a word… but it sounds good!) to the original question. “when they have everything at home.” We’ll get to that later, but, keep that in the back of your mind until we do.
OK…. let’s go for the gusto… why do men cheat?
1. Because they can.
2. Because in his mind, his wife or girlfriend has failed to live up to his expectations of what he wants from his relationship with his wife or girlfriend.
3. Because in his mind, he has failed to live up to the expectations of what his wife or girlfriend wants from a relationship.
4. He never loved her in the first place.
5. To end the relationship.
Thought I was going to list 100 reasons… huh? Well, I could, but… why? Whatever someone’s excuse is for cheating, it will eventually come down to one of those 5 main reasons.
For example:
He cheats because he was on a business trip and met some GORGEOUS girl who wanted him just for the night. He thinks to himself… “Damn! I will never get a chance like this for the rest of my life!” So, against his better judgement, he goes for it.
Why did he cheat? Reason number 1: Because he can.
Another example:
The “Honeymoon” phase of the relationship is over. The “newness” has worn off and and he is now faced with living in the real world of being in a committed relationship. The routine, the ups and downs, the fights, the unresolved issues or problems. He feels he’s not getting the attention he wants or, the attention he does get is primarily negative. Promises that weren’t kept, things she said she’d do but never did. The sex isn’t as good or as often as it used to be or, it has evolved to the point to where it’s just sex.
One disappointment after another. So he cheats because he meets a woman who gives him positive attention, makes him feel better about himself and he feels wanted again.
Why did he cheat? Reason number 2: Because in his mind, his wife or girlfriend has failed to live up to his expectations of what he wants from his relationship.
Yet another example:
Again, the “Honeymoon” phase of the relationship is over. The “newness” has worn off and and he is now faced with living in the real world of being in a committed relationship.
He becomes bored of the daily routine and while he may love her, he takes no responsibility or makes little or no effort in what is HIS role in the relationship. Because of this, the relationship becomes one sided and creates even more problems which he plays no part in solving. He cheats as an escape from his reality and responsibility of his role in the relationship to which he has made a commitment.
Why did he cheat? Reason number 3: Because in his mind, he has failed to live up to the expectations of what his wife or girlfriend wants from a relationship.
Yet another example:
And this is more common than one would imagine. He, in his mind, is in the relationship solely for his enjoyment. He’s not in love with her but goes through the motions because she happens to be the flavor of the month – or two – or until he grows tired of her.
Although he has made her feel that his love for her is real, he knows it isn’t and feels he can do whatever he wants with other women and justifies this because he was never really in love with her in the first place. By virtue of that, he feels no responsibility or obligation to be faithful.
So, why does he cheat? Reason number 4: He never loved her in the first place.
Last example:
He’s not happy, he knows she is not happy. He wants out of the relationship but he’s either a coward and doesn’t want to be honest with her and tell her he wants out of the relationship or, he feels she will try to convince him not to leave.
So, he intentionally cheats on her knowing…. and wanting to be caught because he knows cheating is something she will not forgive. SHE will end the relationship for him.
Why does he cheat? Reason number 5: To end the relationship.
Now, let’s go back to that clarifier. Why do men cheat, “when they have everything at home?”
In response to “when they have everything at home?”
Just because she is “there at home” doesn’t mean he has “everything.” You have to remember, cheating is not a problem, it’s a symptom. It’s a symptom of one – or all – of the five main problems listed above. Use whatever excuse, reason or scenario… 99.9% of the time, one of those 5 reasons is the real answer.
So, there you have it…. why men cheat.
There is NO excuse for cheating, however, as in an earlier post I said…
98% of everything that happens in your life is YOUR responsibility. Good or Bad, you either created it, or allowed it to happen.
Now, you want to know how to be as sure as you can you’re in a relationship where no one cheats? Read my book!
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I have been searching articles for months.
Some are good quality, some junk, but they don’t really clarify or address the issues.
By a fluke, I came across this site for the first time, haven’t seen it before.
This article was spot on! Very well written. No beating around the bush,
these 5 points are what it usually comes down to, so much clarity in this article.
Thank you for this! I have now bookmarked this page.